Conformer of the Non-Conformists

I only post in here when I'm feeling that I'm not getting enough attention from my other sites. But no one reads this anyway; the comments don't show it.

We had our CMEA Festival Performance today. I thought we did pretty good. But our scores==S, E, E, X, E. At first there was only S, E, E, X; and the boys were crowding around the front: one of them covered one the E's and cried, "We got SEX! Whoo HOO!" But I don't know if we should be proud or disappointed. I mean, c'mon LOWELL is #1. We deserve our hard work. ;P (To be honest though, some people don't really TRY as hard as others. I mean, we're really not THAT good, so don't come off bragging that you're good when you can't even sing with as much energy as you should have.)

I don't want my big Ross flats anymore. The only reason I got them was because I just wanted FLATS. But now I feel guilty because my mom's telling me I don't need new shoes unless I can't fit in my other shoes. I DO fit into the other shoes, it's just that they're going out of (my) style. BUT I don't want her to waste money, she's already paranoid about money issues.

Sometimes I feel so left out. I'm guessing this is normal. I know I have good friends and all, but I'm not the person they go to to complain to or to talk about what happens on TV, or when something good happens to them. I'm usually last to find out almost everything.

I'm scared that I'm not going to find the one I love.
I'm scared that there's no one out there that's attracted to me.

I've noticed that the people who have boyfriends/ girlfriends always have this "whiny" attitude about them. Like, it's OBVIOUS flirting. It's quite annoying at times. I like having a nice connection with the person, getting to know them, and then starting a relationship with that person because I like spending time with them. But it seems as if most guys go for the girl that flirts outrageously with them because they like getting the attention. To me, it's embarrassing. When someone flirts, you can tell, and that makes it so much more humiliating when you really don't have feelings for that person. Misunderstood feelings, anyone?


Jeez.