What dreams are made of--chocolate

There's so much going in my life right now but there isn't. Like, you know your life is moving forward but it's really just standing still. I don't know, I'm not good at articulating my feelings. I just have this uneasiness in my heart, like there's something better for me out there, something that I just haven't found yet.

I wore my old bridemaid's skirt to school today and I guess it was unusual because people kept admiring it and asking why I was wearing it. :P I had to use it for a skit and for the APUSH party, so I ended taking off my sweats and wearing it throughout the day. But I have self-esteem problems. I was hairy, so I just wore pantyhose. That makes me feel so shallow, because in my mind I'm telling to myself, "Who really cares? It's not like they're going to use them for anything or it's not going to hurt them."

My summer is going okay so far. I'm planning on taking art classes at the Academy of Art downtown and dance lessons at the Mission Rhythm and Motion Dance Center. Come join me! But the other aspect of my summer is the volunteering. Seems like everyone wants a job nowadays. The whole point of a summer is to relax. SUMMER BREAK should be the time where you meet up that summer love and go to the beach to make out. Summer Break is the time where you go to Disneyland everyday and ride the rollercoasters 3443924832 times. But for us, Summer Break is the time where you somehow NEED to have a job, or else you won't get into a UC. That's not the freakin' point! I mean, c'mon. If you're getting a job at Stonestown (no offense) do you really want to work there when you grow up? How is this benefitting at all?

Hmm, that sounds contradictory to what I said before, that Summer Break is the time to have fun, and I guess working at Starbucks can be pretty fulfilling. So, you know what? Do what your heart desires. Just don't have any regrets. ANY. Because then, your lifestyle will start to decline because you're constantly thinking about what you COULD'VE done.

I watched Titanic today. I cried. Typical, huh? I mean, if I didn't cry, I guess it wouldn't have been the movie it was. But James Cameron is a magnificent director. He's not making any more big films, so I'm assuming the 3 hour movie was enough to die happy. But I love Titanic. It's such a tragic love story, and so much action and death. I absolutely love the end, where Jack and Rose meet up in a "heaven" kind of setting and all the passengers on the ship are back together in their magical fairyland of the Titanic.

It is better to be loved than to be not loved at all.